BANANA THE CANNIBAL (OR, HOW I EAT HEALTHY)

SEE what happens when you stay up late and watch these strange movies, Mama? Anyway, I tell you, she was up till 2 am watching a psycho B-film about a screwed-up guy who's a cannibal, who meets a kindred soul who WANTS to die by being chopped up and eaten...sheesh, people. Then Mama remembered how Tita Marga (Carpio, that's my vet, Vets in Practice, tel.no 533-7965) once texted Mama that she was feeding me banana chips while I was waiting to be picked up at her clinic after a check-up. "Di ba cannibalism 'yon?" she said. Yes, because I love bananas.
I also love apples, pears, papaya, sayote, cucumber, lettuce (with hard-boiled eggs and tomatoes! Yum!), carrots (grated by mama for easy consumption), grapefruit....in short, I pretty much have a healthier diet than most humans I know, and a lot of dogs. Mama mixes any of the above with 50 grams of dog food kibble (Canidae, an excellent brand that's good for all ages of dogs, from pups to seniors -- must be really good then), a drizzle of coconut oil, and occasional add-ons like yogurt or cottage cheese and kelp vitamins. Here's the clincher: she throws in raw chicken, beef, gizzard, or heart and liver.
The general reaction of the uninformed is "Eeeeewww! Raw? Won't the bones kill her? Won't she get salmonella, bacteria, etc?"
Well, Mama and her friends have adopted a localized variation of the BARF Diet by Australian vet Dr. Ian Billinghurst, which is heartily endorsed by Tita Marga and her fellow docs (that's her with daughter Roxie in bottom pic at my third b-day party). BARF stands for either Bones and Raw Food or the more politically-correct Biologically Appropriate Raw Food. What exactly does "biologically appropriate" mean? Simply that my ancestors, those grand old lupine sirs and dames, didn't eat out of a bag, and they didn't eat stuff that was processed literally within an inch of its life. The early dogs hunted and lived off game, smaller animals that included a lot of birds. They didn't sit around a fire and saute the things while knitting beanies for their pups, either. Fact is, the calcium in animal bones is the best we can get—better than any wussy supplement, really. Any excess, we excrete. And the bones are surprisingly pliant and easy to digest—it's when they're cooked that they become brittle and lethal. I know—i know dogs who have died from punctured stomachs because of chewing on cooked bones.
So early dogs ate that, and a lot of the plants around them, making for a really natural diet. Why do you think your dog still eats grass once in a while? It's our ancient memory of a remedy for an upset stomach—chomp on some grass, and throw up whatever's bugging us! So you see, we're a lot more durable than you think, you just baby us with all these store-bought goodies and, heavens, mineral water! My ancestors hunted raccoons and ducks, and you're giving me mineral water? How screwed is that?!
Anyway, there are companies in the west making a killing from prepared BARF meals, so of course, Pinoy parents have adapted. Tita Popi, mother of my honey Una, dumps about three kinds of veggies, tons of offal and raw stuff, and a wee bit of dog food in a bowl for Una's once-a-day meal. Mama thinks I would benefit from two meals for better digestion, so she feeds me twice a day, sticks to one veggie for the morning and one fruit for the pm, and picks either a quarter chicken breast or 2-3 chicken necks per meal or about 15 grams of raw ground beef or a few pieces of liver or gizzard.
Now, she doesn't just take the stuff out of the pack and throw it to me, though. To play it safe, she soaks the meat in water withs some vinegar for a few minutes to kill anything evil. Then it's thawed as needed (pre-packed in individual sandwich bags), thrown into my bowl (or a quick microwave defrost), and I'm soooo happy. Plus, although it takes more effort for Mama to shop for fresh vegetables every week, it comes out cheaper than buying tons of imported dog food in sacks. Sayote is only about P12 a kilo, she says, and nobody really knows what to do with chicken necks—a gourmet feast for me!
So far, what has it done for me? I'm healthier, my dysplasia has been kept under control, and my operated kneecap has healed beautifully. My blood values are excellent (so says Tita Marga), and to top it all, my poo doesn't stink so much, and neither do I! I think it's a great alternative to dog food made by companies that have been discovered to be actually TESTING their products on animals (PETA found a video of dog food maker IAMS doing unspeakable things to beagles in their lab—talk about ironic!). I have also never snacked on a piece of processed meat in my life—Mama leaps like a stuntwoman when some moronic friends or relatives attempt to hand me a slice of Spam or canned vienna sausage. The things that usually come my way from the table are lettuce leaves, beans, carrots, and the occasional (but already borderline) piece of bread. Mama would rather dollop some oatmeal on the floor than put me anywhere near a pork chop, as well. My Mom really looks out for me, sigh. Check out these photos of a typical two banana-kibble-and-chicken neck dinner, dressed with virgin coconut oil for flavor and good skin and hair; me wolfing it down (notice how the bowl is on a low stool, another Tita Marga nugget of wisdom—big dogs get food down their throats easier if they don't have to bend all the way down to the floor to get it); and me looking morose after I've cleaned out my bowl. As in, THAT'S IT?!!!! Oh, but Mama has her reasons—she's leaving room for late night snacks like charcoal treats or pieces of fruit. And to think there was a time I didn't have an appetite because of a lousy misdiagnosis, but that's another long story. Now I love meal time—and people, I really do get enough; don't believe your Lab when he or she gives you a really sad look. We'll try anything—and we're really good at looking cute and sad, hehe.
If you're feeling weird about getting on BARF, check out websites like www.barfworld.com (but don't get conned into buying anything), www.drianbillinghurst.com (or grab his book, "Give Your Dog A Bone," available in better bookstores), or the helpful www.njboxers.com, which has an excellent Q and A for the interested. With all that good stuff in me, Mama is praying I live a long and happy life. Hey, knowing I've got Mama, Lola, and my ninangs (more on them in the future) looking out for me, I'm already the happiest dog in the world.

FOR THE LOVE OF PIGS

I THINK it's a fair enough place to start to think about giving up meat. Officially, Mama says she first seriously thought about giving up meat when she saw the John Robbins video "Diet for a New America" while on detox retreat at Mandala Spa. Unofficially, it can now be told: Mama can't eat pigs and cows anymore because they remind her too much of me (so can you imagine what she feels about people eating dogs?). Not that I'm that fat and round, really (hey, I'm in shape). But I'm also a living breathing creature with a mind of my own, and I was put on this earth for a lot more than just to fill up a human's' belly.
Mama gave up pork and beef in August 2005. The first few months were tough, she likes to tell people; she would break into a cold sweat whenever she even smelled a hamburger, which she loves. Fact is, it's not a good idea for a diabetic like her to give up meat, because she has found herself turning more to carbs to satisfy hunger, and carbs are not a good idea if you've got too much undigested glucose already. But that's the point -- she didn't give up the meat because of health alone, but principle. She can no longer abide by the idea that something has to die to feed her.
This year, she gave up chicken, which was easy compared to the hamburger hurdle. It's her lofty ambition to give up seafood within her lifetime -- hopefully as a 50th birthday gift to herself and to her world. She's praying for the strength to do that. (Check out this pic of her kissing a fish in the Burma Banks instead of eating it).
Me? I felt Mama's pain when she came home once and told me about a picture she saw at the Inquirer, of stray dogs being readied for slaughter in a dog meat place in Tuguegarao, Cagayan. There were about a dozen dogs on the floor, still alive, but with their front legs tied behind them. Now, if you give this some thought, and if you're familiar with our anatomy, you'll realize that this is not easy to do -- which means either the dogs were really pliant, or the monsters broke their front legs before tying them up and stuffing their snouts into tin cans. You read that right -- tin cans. All because they wanted something to pick at while doing something universally productive, like sitting and scratching their swollen bellies while getting drunk.
Please take a look at Mama's articles next Sunday in the Sunday Inquirer Magazine. One is about animal advocacy as a popular cause, and there's a sidebar on how to prepare to get a dog. She talked to friends from PAWS and PETA, and PETA's Rochelle Regodon sent us this poster of a piglet with a cute statement. This is cute and easy to digest, but Mama's seen some really awful footage of pigs being slaughtered.
Sometimes she's driven to tears when she's stuck in traffic behind a truckful of pigs bound for certain death. The unsuspecting animals are pressed together like sacks, unaware that this is the end of their God-given life -- to satisfy some human being's craving for a pork chop.
Oh, she tries not to be judgmental, because greater injustices happen every day to other people. As one friend actually told her, "Your dog (that's me) gets treated better than many kids in Metro Manila." But see, people can talk. Animals can't.
She understands when it is a cultural thing, when it's a level playing field between hunter and hunted, when it's all a tribe lives on. But barangay tanods slaughtering dogs in the playground? Raising animals for "sustainable" slaughter? What the hell is sustainable slaughter? What is the difference between catching a wild animal and killing it -- and raising an animal in a cage, and then killing it? I think "KILL" is spelled the same, either way.
Still, Mama doesn't go around slapping people like that Lanao congresswoman if she accidentally downs a piece of pork. Once in Vigan, she bit into a Lumpiang Ubod that turned out to have bits of Vigan longganiza in it. No, she didn't scream at the host and throw the lumpia away. She ate it.
Please -- for your health, for the sake of our collective souls, for the sake of this planet that is feeling the strain of having to support massive livestock and poultry industries, and for the animals you are supposed to be the guardians of, but which you instead kill and slaughter in the most ingeniously brutal of ways, even if you're not exactly starving...
PLEASE. Try to eat less or no meat. Contact the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) if you want to volunteer or learn more. All this killing has to stop. Please let my fellow dogs and fellow creatures like cows and pigs live. There are so many other things you can eat without shedding any blood.
That's a special request from me and my boyfriend Una (in the water with me, isn't he cute?).